I am planning to get married and join the airforce next year. Can my ex change our custody arrangement?

Q:  My ex and I have one child together. We separated due to repeat incidents of domestic violence. We are currently in a custody battle where I want sole custody with visitation and he wants joint custody. I have temporary custody of our child and a restraining order against him. I really want to serve in the air force but am not sure if he can fight for and get custody while I am away in basic training. My fiance and family are more than capable of taking good care of her, but I'm afraid since he is her father, that he can and will take our daughter. Am I legally obliged to tell him I will be joining the military? Can he find out? It would be an honor to serve and a great way to make a better life for my child, but not at the expense of her safety and overall well-being.

Additional information

 

My daughter's father and I were never married.

A:  David's Answer:  I don't think the Court would deprive you of custody if you're away for 2 months or so (though he would be entitled to have the child during that time). But you should strongly consider that if you're deployed, he'll be presumptively entitled to custody during such time. Your return from active duty, however, will by statute be considered a "change of circumstances" allowing you to petition for a return of the child to your custody. Before making any decisions, you're well-advised to schedule a consultation with a NYC Child Custody attorney. -- David Bliven, Bronx Child Custody attorney (www.blivenlaw.net)

Custody/visitation for my 15 month child? Would I throw a grenade at myself?

Q:  Mother has temporary order of protection from my criminal case for domestic violence against me that is subject to family court. We had argument and I shoved her and now she has order of protection against me which state i must stay away from her and the kid.

If I go family court and ask the judge for custody/visitation of my 15 months daughter, how likely or unlikely that I will be able to see my child? I hit the child once before when mom wasn't home. At that time, mom wanted to go out and jogged and I asked her I couldn't handle the kid by myself and we both go together. But she ignored me and still went. After 1 hour later when she returned, she found red marks on my child face. She wanted to called the cop on my but then decided not to later. I think she may have pictures

Additional information

 

If i go in front of a judge in family court and she provided proof or stated that I hit the child. What would happen to me?

A: David's Answer:  If she has proof that you hit a 15-month-old baby in the face, I'd say the most you're realistically looking at is supervised visitation, especially when combined with the alleged domestic violence incident. You can better your case by immediately enrolling in individual counseling, an anger management course as well as a batterer's program. For a full assessment, schedule a consultation with a NYC Child Custody attorney.  -- David Bliven, Bronx Child Custody attorney (www.blivenlaw.net)

How is a child going to complain?

Q:  How is a child going to complain? She is born in the United States, but knows that because her mother allowed her to live outside the United States for more than sex months, her father has the legal right under US law, to prevent her from returning to the United States before her 18 birthday. The American embassy tells her that she can not get an American passport before her 18 birthday. She knows that under the legal system of the United States, her mother would have physical custody over her and her father would have to pay child support, and can only see her father four days a month. She knows that in this country, her father has physical custody over her, but can see her mother every day. She has a better relationship with her father than with her mother, because he is the better parent.


A:  David's Answer:  If the child does not reside in the U.S., then there does not appear to be a basis to complain in the U.S.  -- David Bliven, Bronx Child Custody attorney (www.blivenlaw.net)

Can he got sole custody? or should i file sole custody?

Q:  I've been the primary care taker for my daughter all her life. She is now going on 9 years old. I told her biological father i was moving he stopped paying child support and now hes taking me to court for sole custody.can he get it? I recently decided to stay and try to make ends meet. can i file for sole custody and get it?


A:  David's Answer:  If you don't have any orders of custody as yet, then there are many factors which come into play in a child custody case. For instance, when did you & the father physically separate? How active is the father in the child's life? Is there an order of support that the father is now violating (and if so, you should file a violation petition)? Does either parent have a criminal history? In any event, you should indeed file a cross-petition for custody. You should also schedule a consultation with a NYC Child Custody attorney for a full assessment. -- David Bliven, Bronx Child Custody attorney (www.blivenlaw.net)

A 49 year old women has sexual relations with a 17 year old while he is living in a school dorm. Have any laws been broken?

Q: 17 - in school dorm diagnosed with depression and away from family and support. 49 married with two children offering to pay for schooling etc in exchange for services.


A:  David's Answer:  Sounds like prostitution to me ("pay for school in exchange for services"). From the perspective of the 49yo, did you consider you're risking getting fired (assuming you work for the school) and/or a divorce? From the perspective of the 17yo, did you consider the second this is found out, you risk the funds being immediately cut-off, as well as possible disciplinary charges by the school? If it sounds too good to be true, it usually is. Steer clear.   -- David Bliven, Bronx Child Custody attorney (www.blivenlaw.net)

Can I get full custody of my kids?

Q:  I'm I a mental abuse n controlling relationship with my children father. I got a job as a CNA part time n he don't work. He watches the kids. Ever since I got a job he's always jumping down my throat that I'm never home n don't spend time with our kids. An every I just wanna go for a walk to go get something we may need he won't let me. He gets very mean to our oldest son to where my son gets scared of him. I just don't know how to leave without getting me or my children hurt. I want custody of my boys cause I don't want them hurt n I can provide them with everything they need.


A:  David's Answer:  A lot of factors go into whether a person will win custody. For instance, what are the boy's ages? For how long has he cared for them? Why is he out of work & is he making efforts to find work? The best thing you can do is to call a NYC Child Custody attorney and schedule a consultation for a full assessment of your situation.   -- David Bliven, Bronx Child Custody attorney (www.blivenlaw.net)

When illegal immigrant mother from Honduras has a US born daughter

Q:  When illegal immigrant mother from Honduras has a US born daughter, can she take her US born daughter with her when she gets deported to Honduras? The American father does not want any thing to do with his daughter and does not care if she goes to Honduras. The courts can’t even locate the American father, but his name is on her birth certificate. Who has to pay for the airplane trip for the US citizen child to Honduras?


A:  David's Answer:  If the father can't even be located, then there's no one on the other side to object. The mother may filed a custody petition to be arguably better protected against the father just "popping up" the minute she's gone & then filing a petition in court requesting that she be ordered to return. Schedule a consultation with a NYC Child Custody attorney for a full assessment.   -- David Bliven, Bronx Child Custody attorney (www.blivenlaw.net)

What would happen if a father is wanted for parental abduction

Q:  What would happen if a father is wanted for parental abduction and he did not find out that the mother of his daughter, got legal custody of his daughter until after she is 18? The mother allowed his daughter to live with him, and than got custody of her by default, because the mother could not locate him. His daughter now 40 years old and still lives with him, and she got a restraing order baring her mother from contacting her. She does not want to see her mother ever again.


A:  David's Answer:  If by "wanted" you mean there's a warrant outstanding for the Father, then it's possible he could be arrested on the warrant. Thus, it's probably best to seek to extinguish to warrant. As for any other sanction against the Father, one would think it's highly unlikely if the daughter is willing to testify on the Father's behalf. Schedule a consultation with a NYC Child Custody attorney for a full assessment.   -- David Bliven, Bronx Child Custody attorney (www.blivenlaw.net)

What would happen if a mother is wanted for

Q:  What would happen if a mother is wanted for parental abduction because she took her children to Europe in violation of a US child custody order? Her children are legally adults under US law, but law enforcement in Europe cannot locate his children. Law enforcement in Europe was able to locate the American mother. The mother will not reveal the location of her children know adults, unless she does not have to spend time in jail, but is willing to pay a fine and do community service. Because his children are legally adults, they can not be forced to return to the United States and see there American father. The American mother will be deported to the United States, because she was illegally living in Europe.


A:  David's Answer:  If the children are over 18, the Court cannot restore visitation rights. It is possible the court could impose a fine (i.e., sanctions), counsel fees and/or a term of incarceration upon the Father prevailing in a contempt hearing against the mother. Schedule a consultation with a NYC Child Custody attorney for a full assessment.   -- David Bliven, Bronx Child Custody attorney (www.blivenlaw.net)

Stipulation of agreement and order of dismissal

Q: Me ex petitioned family court for enforcement of custody order claiming i unreasonably withheld consent for a child issue which caused pendente lite decision in her favor. I counter petitioned with custody mod to get pendente lite reversed and her petition dismissed based on her clear misrepresentation of facts (i lost time frame to appeal). My petition won't be heard until trial and didn't expect it to be. We are both pro se. We have now come to terms on the issue. Law gaurdian offered to write up stipulation but says she can't include order of dismissal with prejudice in the stipulation while claiming it isn't needed. Is that true? I said the only way i would sign is if the petitions were simultaneously dismissed with prejudice.


A:  David's Answer:  If the petitions are dismissed, and there is no active case before the Court, how then could the Judge sign-off on the stipulation of settlement?  -- David Bliven, Westchester Bronx Child Custody attorney (www.blivenlaw.net)

I f I Serve someone a Court Appearance do they need to sign anything

Q:  I need to go serve someone a court order for child Support and Child Custody. Do they need to sign me something proving that they received it


A:  David's Answer: If you are the party, you cannot be the one to serve the papers. The papers need to be served by someone else, 18 years of age or older, who then executes an affidavit of service.   -- David Bliven, Bronx Child Custody attorney (www.blivenlaw.net)

My kids father stood with his kids for the weekend and than behind my back went and filed a petition saying i abandoned my kids?

Q:  ive had my kids since day one they were never removed from me or hurt in anyway and my kids father is abusive and controling and because i dont want to be with him hes doing this to me, ive never been in this situation and i need help in everyway so i could get my babys back. before this situation accured me n my childern were in a family shelter for the a year and it was just me n my children i felt.like the shelter was my safe horizon because my kids father used to beat me in front of my kids but i never filed reports because i thought he loved me and i just wanted my family to be together i was young and dumb and i thought it was love but all he ever.was ,was drama he calls acs on me makes girls make police reports i just need help in taking the right steps in getting my children back.


A:  David's Answer:  Does he still have the children in his custody? If yes, you should immediately call the police as he's arguably committed the crime of custodial interference. You should also file petitions for custody & child support. Finally, you should schedule a consultation with a NYC Child Custody lawyer for a full assessment.   -- David Bliven, Bronx Child Custody attorney (www.blivenlaw.net

What do you recommend a mother to do?

Q:  What do you recommend a mother to do? Her daughter comes home with her ears pierced six times. A medical doctor says that her father did a good job in piercing her ears and does not see a medical problem related to him piercing her ears. The child’s does not want to have her earrings removed. The mother is the only one that complains. When her daughter goes to school and goes out in public nobody makes negative comments about her earrings.


A:  David's Answer:  Per your prior posting, you have a right to petition to modify the existing order making it clear such decisions are within your province. Schedule a consultation with a NYC Child Custody lawyer for a full assessment.   -- David Bliven, Bronx Child Custody attorney (www.blivenlaw.net

Is it fair that a US family court has legal jurisdiction (child custody)

Q:  Is it fair that a US family court has legal jurisdiction (child custody) under US law over children that have lived in the United States for six months, but are outside the United States? In this case a court in another country has ruled that those same children can not be returned to the United States, and will not enforce the US court orders.


A:  David's Answer:  Without knowing the factual basis for jurisdiction, one cannot assess whether the determination is correct (and especially without knowing what the other country is). You may need to bring the issue to federal court at this point. For a full assessment, schedule a consultation with a NYC Child Custody lawyer.   -- David Bliven, Bronx Child Custody attorney (www.blivenlaw.net

Should an American mother regret bring in her daughter in the world?

Q:  Should an American mother regret bring in her daughter in the world? Her Russian father took her back to Russia in violation of a US child custody order and will probably never see her daughter again, unless she comes looking for her mother when she is an adult. She knows that her daughter as a very good relationship with her daddy, she thinks he is the best daddy in the world and will never hurt her.


A:  David's Answer:  So how is this the child's fault? By phrasing the question in the way you did, I think the problem is you, not your daughter or her father.   -- David Bliven, Bronx Child Custody attorney (www.blivenlaw.net

Does the non-custodial father have the legal right to

Q: Does the non-custodial father have the legal right to pierce the ears of his daughter (with out her mothers consent, and make her wear earrings, when she is with him? A medical doctor says that he did a good job in piercing her ears and does not see a medical problem related to him piercing her ears.


A:  David's Answer:  I think the answer to that is yes - she would generally have decision-making over such issues.  -- David Bliven, Bronx Child Custody attorney (www.blivenlaw.net

If I moved out of state due to the fact that I was behind on rent and was going to get evicted and didn't have any family in

Q:  Arizona and I also have a son and a wife that lives with me and we had no choice but to move to New York but I also have 2 children who live with their mother and grandparents and we are going to court for custody and support what might happen if I didn't let the court know I was moving or moved? And is it a good idea to let the court know I'm moving or moved? Also would I still be able to receive govntment help when I owe back child support? I'm just not sure what to do and also haven't seen my other 2 children in 3-4 years so I would need to get therapy before I can see them but can't afford do I have any luck in seeing them even though I am far away from them? And their mother isn't willing to compromise with me since I've gotten married please help next court date is coming up soon


A:  David's Answer:  I would not understand your reason(s) for not wanting to let the court know you moved. Hypothetically, if you win custody, don't you think the mother would figure things out when the child she goes to visit is not across town but on the other side of the country? That said, if the custody & support cases are pending in Arizona, you'd need to re-post this question on that state's forum.   -- David Bliven, Bronx Child custody attorney (www.blivenlaw.net

The biological father of my child can fight for full custody, after 7 years of being absent father?

Q: The biological father of my son (9 yrs) is not on the birth certificate, but I have not sought child support from him because I thought it was not necessary since my husband has been the person who has given everything to my son for all these years, and I mean since my son was born. The verbal agreement between the biological father and I was $ 100 per week since (September 2011 to Present) when he feel or want to send the money, he never was punctual with that. When I asked him for spend time with my son he decide stop sending money and change his phone number. Now he wants to get on the court to put the last name including renaming my son. Also he wants full custody, when he never have the time to be with my son sharing. What I could do in this case?


A:  David's Answer:  It's very unlikely, on the facts that you've presented, he'll win custody. That said, he can certainly ask for it and you would then need to defend the case. You should therefore give thought to suing him right back with a petition for child support. For a full assessment, schedule a consultation with a NYC Child Custody attorney.   -- David Bliven, Bronx Child Custody attorney (www.blivenlaw.net

So my husband wants to take me to court for visitation. ...

Q:  He doesn't want me to know where he lives..and does not want me to meet his girlfriend. We are still legally married and have 4 kids 2gether. He does not come every sunday like he should. My baby who is only a year and a half does not know him and does not like to be with him. If we go to court....do I have the right to know where he lives?.will I have to send the baby. What happens when it comes to holidays...any and all advice would be helpful... would I have the right to meet his girlfriend. ...if my 12 yr old doesn't want to go...do I have to send him


A: David's Answer:  If you have concerns about where he lives, express them to the Judge & ask for an ACS home study. But no, you do not have a legal right to "meet his girlfriend." And if your child does not wish to visit, ask the Court to assign him an attorney. For a full assessment, schedule a consultation with a Bronx Child Custody lawyer.   -- David Bliven, Bronx Child Custody attorney (www.blivenlaw.net

Can you give me a list of countries that have a very good track record of returning children to the United States

Q:  Can you give me a list of countries that have a very good track record of returning children to the United States, that were taken/retained in violation of US child custody orders? Can you give me a list of countries that have a very bad track record never return children to the United States? There are countries that are Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction that do not return children to the United States. There are countries that are not party Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction, that return children to the United States.


A:  David's Answer:  I don't think any attorney in this field has dealt with enough international child custody cases so as to do a comparative analysis amongst even the 40+ signatories on The Hague Convention. You're probably best off scheduling a consultation with a NYC Child Custody attorney & presenting your situation to him/her for a full assessment.  -- David Bliven, Bronx Child Custody attorney (www.blivenlaw.net)

Is it fair to a mother (not the father and child)

Q:  Is it fair to a mother (not the father and child) if she does not want to deal with US family court and give the American father legal rights under US law, she has to give birth outside the United States and prevent her child from visiting the United States before her 18 birthday? The child in question is a US citizen and has the paperwork issued by the US State Department to prove this. The mother can return to the United States but not her child, is this fair, yes or no?


A:  David's Answer:  A lawyer is not the one to answer a question as to whether something is perceived to be "fair" subjectively by a parent - only the parent can answer that question. As to what the parent is looking at in terms of a custody case, you would need to be more specific with the details.  -- David Bliven, Bronx Child Custody attorney (www.blivenlaw.net)

Should an American father visit his children in Europe?

Q:  Should an American father visit his children in Europe? He has children in Europe. He can visit his children in Europe only under the direct supervision of local law enforcement. The US State Department can arrange those visitations in Europe and will tell him what he can and can not do in Europe.


A:  David's Answer:  Where else would the father propose to visit the children?   -- David Bliven, Bronx Child Custody attorney (www.blivenlaw.net)

Can i relocate from NY to another state while my daughter is in college?

Q:  I recently lost my job in NY i want to relocate to Florida. My 18 year old daughter is in college in Boston as a freshman. Daughter likes NY and would like to stay there for summers and some breaks. would child support change with me paying my ex? if i remarried how does this play in anything?


A:  David's Answer:  Assuming you were the custodial parent & your daughter otherwise had plans to stay with you on vacations but will now stay with the father, then yes, that's a basis to end child support. It's also arguably a basis for the father to sue you for support, depending on how much time your daughter actually spends back at his house. For a full assessment, schedule a consultation with a NYC Child Support attorney.   -- David Bliven, Bronx Child Custody attorney (www.blivenlaw.net)

I have a question regarding Sole custody and visitation. After paternity is established. Can I stop child going to TX?

Q:  I have a two year old daughter. I am not married to her father. I met him here in NEW YORK. He is from Texas and lives in Texas. He was working in NYC and was fired for coming to work high. The job has been hiring and firing him for last 4 years. He rents a room in NYC when he is here. His name is no where on the baby birth cert. When my daughter was an infant he persuaded me into letting him take her to Texas. The baby was there for two weeks &I had to go get her because he was never with her. I could not reach him and the mom said he was getting high. He took my daughter from me in street 7/2/13, I called cops who stopped him at airport on his way to Texas. We constantly argue on the phone. He is now having a baby w/ girl who helped him kidnap our child. I do not want my child in TX.


A:  David's Answer:  I would need to know more - or have the facts made more clear - to render a definitive opinion. Is the child now here in NY with you? Is there a case pending? Did the police charge him with a crime for taking the child? When did you & the father physically separate? Other than the recent visit you referred to, how often has the father seen the child? I highly advise you to schedule a consultation with a NYC Child Custody attorney for a full assessment.  -- David Bliven, Bronx Child Custody attorney (www.blivenlaw.net)

What happens when non custodial parent misses court day for visitation?

Q: my friend took his son mother to court but he miss the court day thinking that was the next day what can he do?


A: If it was not hard to serve the mother, then he can simply re-file & re-serve his petition (assuming it was dismissed). If it was difficult to serve the mother, or he thinks it will be hard to serve her again, his other option is to file a motion to vacate his default, explaining the circumstances of his failure to appear along with stating a valid basis for his petition.  -- David Bliven, Bronx Child Custody attorney (www.blivenlaw.net)

Child Custody- General Advice

Q:  On Friday I begin my Custody case against my Son’s Mother. I believe I have a good case as the best parent for Sole custody of my son based on what’s best for him. I don’t have representation yet, I plan to hire a lawyer in a month or 2 when i can afford one. Any General advice you guys can Share so I won’t dig myself into a whole before I hire a lawyer would be greatly appreciated.


A:  David's Answer:   It is extremely hard to give general advise that would also be helpful without knowing the individual facts of your case. You are generally best advised to keep a paper trail on discussions you have with the mother - particularly disagreements. Other things should go without saying - such as being involved as much as possible in the child's like (including extracurricular activities). That said, you're highly encouraged to schedule a consultation with a Bronx Child Custody attorney. --  David Bliven, Bronx Child Custody attorney (www.blivenlaw.net)

Can I request supervised visitation if I cannot find and serve non-custodial parent and am afraid NCP will abduct our child?

Q:  The non-custodial parent is not a citizen and left the country due to arrest warrant and to avoid paying child support. I don't know where NCP is. I have sole custody. The NCP no longer pays child support or visits child. I fear the NCP will return and abduct child. NCP got foreign passport for child without my knowledge or consent years ago. Family court ordered it to be in my possession and I currently have it, though I was informed by consulate of NCP's country that they cannot prevent a new passport being issued. If NCP returns and wants visitation, I was planning on denying visitation (due to abduction fear) and going directly to family court to file a petition for supervised visits. Not sure how to go about things and if there is anything I can do before NCP possibly returns.


A:  David's Answer: There's not really anything you can do in advance because he would need to be served with a summons & if he's not in the country, you can't serve him. That said, upon his return, if he files, you may counter-file for an order of protection (if warranted) and a request that his visitation be supervised. Nevertheless, for a full assessment, please schedule a consultation with a NYC Child Custody attorney.   --  David Bliven, Bronx Child Custody attorney (www.blivenlaw.net)

Can acs take my child away if i test positive on a drug test do to an investigation tours me for false claims of child abuse?

Q: i was visited on 10/05/12 by child protective services because someone claimed that my husband and i plus more adults living in the house hold are using cocaine like addicts and that my husband physically abuses our child . of course we are mortified by this news and even more confused as to where it came from. it will eventually be obvious to the case worker that our child is not being abused but she wants all 4 of us which is my mom and her husband as well to take drug test.
i am very willing to comply with all protocol but may test positive for marijuana and would like to know if they can take my child away do to this result?  plus any other advice u can give pertaining to my case i would gladly appreciate. the child protective agent interviewed us on 10/05/12.


A: First, it is possible ACS can take your child away for a positive test. It then becomes a difference as to whether that is right or not, based on the law as well as the particular facts in your case. If there is no other indication that the child is being abused or neglected & you feel you MAY test positive, then it may be prudent to refuse to take the test, explaining that you would like to consult a lawyer first before doing so. I then highly advise you to schedule a consultation with a Family Law attorney to further discuss the situation.  --  David Bliven, Bronx Child Custody lawyer (www.blivenlaw.net)

Can I do anything about the emails and hand-off treatment? Protocol for communication in joint custody? possible to get sole?

Q:  Had my ex-gf watch my dog for me while recovering from surgery. Sent money and supplies as requested for care. When I went to retrieve the dog after the 2.5 months, she refused to give the dog back. This ex-gf from 2 years ago. Never lived together. The dog was always in my care. i.e. I had 100% of vet records, groomer bills/testimonies in my name up until my surgery. She has an email letter stating her as the adopter. Ended up settling, now we have a court ordered joint custody. Her fiance conducts hand-offs (police station/college campus) w a friend present. He films w his phone. He's also very rude to me. Ex-gf conducts a "court case" through email w me debating everything. Denying past and lying. Being difficult to deal with. Seems like they're trying get under my skin.


A:  David's Answer:  You posted your question under the category of "Child Custody" but then mentioned a dog & never mentioned a child. Does your case involve a child - or just a dog? If just a dog, then I'd suggest to re-post your question in another Practice Area, as the attorneys in the "Child Custody" area only deal with cases involving actual children. --  David Bliven, Bronx Child Custody attorney (www.blivenlaw.net)